As I have aged, I have realized that I love love love major metropolis cities. I yearn to be a part of them, to call myself one of the many people who occupy it, to succeed financially and career wise, and to just be. Yes, I want to move again. Need to move again. If something phenomenally amazing does not happen in Portland soon, it has got to happen some place else. For Christ sake already, I am certainly not getting any younger.
Luckily on Monday, my dear friend NJ phone stalked me about a quick road trip up to Seattle before her departure to head north into the wilderness of Alaska. We rented a car, and our 24 hour journey began and it was fabulous.
With my proceeding urge to move, possibly heading east, I have been going stir crazy with the idea that I do not quite have the funds to do it just yet. So I thought a quick trip out of the current city would do me good and tie me over a little while. Nope, I was wrong. It left me with the idea that packing up, today if possible, is exactly what I need and want. Yes, my quick trip only increased the urge burning inside of me by leaps and bounds. I am so ready. Who wants to hit the road and start a new? Seriously, GB??? Design goodness awaits us....
The drive up. I dare not post our true antics. You could not handle it. Yay, yay, yay! Metropolis loving on a beautiful day. My designer nerd side came out. An original typographic fire house? Really? Love it. Our rental car. Vroom vroom. Who knew there was a side of Seattle on the other side of the water from downtown that felt like a coastal California town. This dog was the coolest!!!!! Sans the matching outfit with its owner. Why? Full moon and the crazies were definitely out. Metropolis loving. *sigh* Oh eem gee! Pumping my own gas for the first. Only took 25 years. I got a little video happy. Enjoy!
For the first time in a while I can say I was productive. HA! I know what you are thinking. "How can that be? I thought you have been working on your own projects all this time, you unemployed fiend." Truth be told, I have. But today was different. I feel accomplished, even though I only touched upon the making of what could be a huge turn in design for me - apparel. Today consisted of printing up some luggage tags I designed (based on the quote: "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come". -John Harrigan)for my dear friend NJ, who is venturing up north (aka Alaska) on Wednesday, took photos of the finished luggage tags and alphabet sign language flash cards I designed for a friends 2 yearold son, made my first pattern from scratch, started cutting out the fabric pieces, signed up for a quick road trip up to Seattle with NJ tomorrow (Tuesday) - Wednesday, emailed a client who has been more than difficult (apparently we can not connect on the phone), did some laundry, showered (that is always a given with me), listened to tons of good music, watched it hail and snow multiple times (good ol' winter in March) and made some yummy food (including one of my current favorite snacks - Fuji Apple with Organic Almond Butter). And once I watch this weeks new episode of No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain (Yes, as old as he may be, I am totally crushing on him) in Vietnam, I should be good to go and ready to get out of Portland for less then 24 hours.
There are three places in Portland that I absolutely adore: Stepping Stone Cafe, Via Delezia and Voodoo Doughnuts. Out of the three, I tend to frequent Stepping Stone the most. You can never go wrong with breakfast, at any time of day, especially when the total bill, typically split, is less then $15.
An all American breakfast at Stepping Stone Cafe with NJ and JL, November 15, birthday number 25, a few days after returning to the states. February 26 and 27. Typically, when ordering a blueberry pancake, the blueberries are mixed in with the batter. Not this time. To NJ's and my surprise, the blueberries were placed under the pancake. The most magical coffee of all time: Vanilla Latte made by Alex at Via Delizia. After attending a show at Tonic, NJ and I found Voodoo 2 on the east side for the first time. A more spacious, and very pink building of doughnut goodness. March 5, Stepping Stone with NJ, uber busy for a Thursday brunch. Apparently, after out last visit with the surprise of blueberries underneath instead of inside the pancake, we were happily and shockingly greeted with the biggest pancake we have ever gotten or eaten - not only in diameter, but in thickness. We were only able to eat half of it (yes, together) and had to take the rest home for a snack later.
Last night I had a telephone mini intervention with my old friend who should have died last weekend from drinking far too much. It went o.k. I guess. For the most part I voiced my concern the way I wanted, and they were kind enough to fully listen, even if they did not take it all in. I even was able to be calm about it and not go irrate about just how stupid they have been behaving. Believe me, I wanted to yell and slap them across the face multiple times, because I think sometimes, people need to be slapped from time to time in the hopes that that knocks the sense back into them.
Frankly, as calm as the whole conversation went, it does not seem that their eyes are fully open to just how stupid AND lucky they have been over the past few months. The only saving grace of the entire conversation is that they are not 100% stupid - they realize that if they stopped breathing multiple times in the hospital, that they could have just as easily stopped breathing at their friends house while sleeping. Falling and getting a concussion saved their life.
Now, my heart is heavy because I know the percentage of them getting to a very dangerous level again is incredibly high. They do not know how to cope with stress and depression and admitted that turning to the bottle to ease the pain for a few hours was getting easier and easier and very tempting. It hurts to say that I will not be surprised if it happens again or if they end up dead.
I am at a loss of words. I do not know what to do. I have reached out, to them, and their closest family member. They take it as a joke (the old friend) and try to play it off as if they are just going through I rough patch, when we all know it is more serious than that.
So I pose these questions... What can I do? They have a young child. Does that child need to be taken away for a while? Do they need to seek help in a more permanent way (i.e. Mental Help facility)? Do I tell them that I can not stand by and watch them self destruct even more? I am perplexed as to what is the right plan of action, because I can not be their crutch and shoulder to lean on again. I am tired of it and overly drained by it. I have got my own shit to deal with.
As of late, I have decided that I am not down with drinking booze that often any more. It is not like I was obsessing or over drinking either. In fact, there is no real reason except that I just do not feel like it at the present time. It is a personal choice I have made before and one I am happy to do again.
As of yesterday, I got a phone call from an old friend who I have not talked to in weeks. It reassured me that I was indeed making a good decision, and even if I was not where I am at currently, surely the conversation would have put me there.
**As a disclaimer and politeness to my old friend, I will refer to them as a sexless being while telling their story.
Basically, they ended up in the hospital this past weekend due to drinking an excessive amount of alcohol - rum, vodka, whiskey, tequila, etc etc... They even got kicked out of the club they were at (always a first for everything right?). At one point they fell and hit their head, which landed them in the hospital because they started to convulse and stopped breathing a whopping 4 times! Yes, you heard correct. To top things off, guess their blood alcohol level. No really, guess. It is pretty shocking.... .324!!!!! They should have died. And the fact that they walked away with only a concussion is damn amazing. I hope they have learned their lesson that they can no longer do stupid shit, because truthfully, they have been on a destructive path for a while now (and I thought New Years was bad), and they have a wee one to take care of. It is about time they GROW THE FUCK UP!!!! And realize that their actions affect everyone around them. My only doubt with the entire situation and this person, is that they will do it again. And honestly, I do not think I can be there to watch/hear about it one more time.
Letting friends go can be hard, but sometimes necessary.
Check this dude out that I just discovered: Pop Levi. He's uber funky and amuses me immensely. BTW, he's playing at the Doug Fir, this Friday (March 6) at 9pm. I am not planning on attending, but thought I would give a shout out for him anyways. Rock on dude!
