First Amendment

Essentially, the U.S. was created with freedom in mind. A rebellion to say the least. One of those freedoms was the first amendment, which involves freedom of speech and freedom of press. By CHOOSING to have a blog of any nature, I am aloud to express my freedom of speech publicly, and often to my discretion. It is the viewer who CHOOSES to continue to read, regardless of what I write, and it is not my sole responsibility to censor my opinions and thoughts for thus reader. Now I understand that sometimes I have aired some dirty laundry that maybe I shouldn't have. But, I CHOSE to, for many reasons. And out of respect for people I CHOOSE to bring into my blogging realm, I decided long ago that full names were never going to be used.

So, does that make me rude? I certainly don't think so. And I admit, that yes, when I CHOOSE to talk about someone, and that person CHOOSES to read my blog, that they will in turn know that I have CHOSEN to talk about them. Does everyone know who I talk about all the time? No. Is it frustrating and complete bullshit when you then get 'attacked' verbally by non-partisans on the issue? Yes. So I will say this, empowering my first amendment right as an American... Get off your high rocker. I get it, I do, you're upset. It happens. But what's the point of getting in the middle of a situation when you have no priority in being there? Do you honestly think you are helping? Because you're not. I make my points and opinions about situations and people based on facts given to me, often by the person I am CHOOSING to make an opinion about. And yes, I am referring to an old friend who almost killed themselves. Good lord. I said it loud and clear. Shoot me. My opinions on them and the way they have and are CHOOSING to live their life, is based solely on everything they have told me. So, GROW UP! Please, someone, tell me, who supports someone's drinking, even 'responsibly' after an 'incident' where they wind up in the hospital, oh less than a month later? Who? Because honestly, I can't think of anyone who would. Well, none of my good friends anyways.

The fact of the matter is, I voiced an opinion on a situation because I cared for that person, their long term well being, and the young life that they are responsible for. That person in turn, CHOSE to reject that gesture of concern and thoughtfulness. I live with the belief that if you care about someone, and you genuinely feel that something is wrong, then you tell them and try to do what you can to help... because you care. Too many people tend to look away in situations that make them uncomfortable because they just don't want to deal with it, and I get that. But sometimes you just can't run away and turn a blind eye.

Although, as of late, I am questioning the point of speaking out of concern. No one likes to try and help someone, and then, in turn, get a virtual slap in the face via nasty emails from that person and one of their 'good' friends. Feelings get hurt. Hell, if I wanted to, I could take the low road to try and make myself feel better, if even for a moment. I could name names and spill dirty things. But I CHOOSE not too. Why? Because that's not who I am. There's no need to continue on in this fashion. I've stated my concern, they rejected it, and now it's time to move on. Done and done.

With that, I will leave my last words of this entry to Regina Spektor, as the truth is always just a line....

Spring Cleaning And More Weirdos

This spring, like many, I have decided to do a little spring cleaning. For me, it's not necessarily in the household, going through my things and cleaning out, kind of cleaning. This year, it's focused on my life and preparing for goodness to come in the coming months, and most importantly, clearing out people that no longer apply to my life.

As much as I know some people need to go (particularly one person), it's not easy. It's not easy because they are on a quick descent to killing themselves and I have made the personal decision to not stand by and watch. Things might have been different if they weren't in denial, but they are, and show signs that they don't want to change their behavior. And for that reason alone, I can't be there to support them. I was appalled today when on fb (yeah, I know what you're thinking) I saw how they posted about how they are once again drinking. Mind you, only a few weeks ago they woke up in the hospital strapped to a bed and almost died from drinking too much. I also saw how they're dating, a lot, and having these random men around their 3 1/2 year old daughter. It's irritating and frustrating and a prime example of why you shouldn't bring a child into this world until you are stable enough, emotionally and financially, and with a partner. Like puppies, babies grow up, and won't always be there 'to love you'.

Anyways, that brings me to a new topic: weirdos and creepers and terrible pick up lines. As some know, I have been attracting this kind of attention for the last few weeks. Last night, while at the mall with NJ, some dude/creeper walks out towards us, looks me up and down, and says "You're my favorite, I choose you". Come on. Really? I think I'm going to lock myself indoors for a while and hide out. And yes, I'm totally serious. What's the point? They're everywhere nowadays and it doesn't seem like you can go out without running into at least one.

Airport Boycott...

.... Well, that is until it's my turn again. Yes, today, after picking up not one, but two people at the airport at different times, and having a total of 3 airport trips in 4 days, I have decided that I will not be returning until I am the one getting on an airplane. Don't get me wrong, I have no qualms about helping people out when it comes to drop offs/pick-ups. But the 2nd trip ended up being by far one of my worst experiences at an airport and it was 11:45 PM!!!!! Yes, there were 2 long lines to even pick someone up and then after I pulled to the side to pick up the person, who was not out front just yet, and waited. I was at the end of the arrival area and there was still tones of room around me. Then, this bitchy airport traffic women comes up and yells at me that I can't stay there, even for another minute. I said ok. I was in the middle of calling the person who I was picking up to see if they were out yet and get ready to pull away. Then she moves in front of my car, because get this, I was not pulling out fast enough. Heavens forbid there were cars passing me at a constant rate so I could not pull out, and she was in front of me. So yeah, there was no way I could get out. Then she starts writing me a ticket because I'm 'not going'. So being in a piss ass mood, I yell at her, through my rolled up window, "I'm going!" And yes, she heard me. She yells back how there's a no cell phone policy, which didn't make any sense since everyone in their cars and on the side walk were talking on their phones. Anyways, thank god for a clearing and I was able to pull away. She stopped writing the ticket.... cross your fingers she didn't finish it after I left.

After my bicker with the rude airport traffic bitch, and yeah, I was being a bitch too, I had to circle another 3 times before the person I was picking up got outside. Yeah, it was that busy at almost midnight on a Wednesday. Who knew. At least you and I both now know that that is a terrible time to be at the PDX airport. Boo!

Anyways, I needed to vent. I'm tired of people being dumb and rude. I'm tired of them pissing me off so much. Errrr. I need to chill the fuck out right now. Seriously, no more! And I definitely won't be making any more trips to the airport. Well, unless I get a decent size check soon.... then I'm out of here for who knows how long!

Oh, and deepest apologizes for my rants lately. I promise I will write nicer things in the coming days. And maybe even post some stellar photographs of new design work. Yeah, I know, I bet you're excited for that.

Crap 9-5 Jobby Job, Bad Economy, NYC Too Expensive... FUCK YOU!

Alright, I've had enough of people giving me shit about 'not having a crap 9-5 jobby job' or 'how it must be so hard to freelance in this bad economy' or 'you're thinking of moving to NYC, that's really expensive, maybe you should think about Jersey or someplace cheaper'. FUCK YOU! You people don't think that I don't know that? Duh, ass holes, of course I do. But the difference between me and them is that I look on the brighter side. That I don't dwell on the bullshit. The economy doesn't have to be bad. Sometimes a crap 9-5 jobby job isn't the answer. And, yes, NYC is expensive. But obviously millions of people have done it, are currently doing it, and will do it for a very very long time. So why be debbie downers? Please, just stop, listen, and try to understand my perspective. In fact, I can guarentee that pretty much anyone that says shit like that isn't happy with their life or the way it has turned out thus far. As for those who are avid supporters and understanders. THANK YOU! I appreaciate it. *sigh* Now I feel better.

Sufari Series Part Deux

All week I've been well on my way to creating new business cards. Surprisingly, I actually like them, a lot. Each creature gets better and better.... until the dreaded zebra. Yes, they are a load of big fat continuous stripes that never seem to end. I was going to draw two, but after completely one, which I might add took hours, I'm not sure if I'm up to it just yet. Plus, looking at the design on the card, one actually works quite well. Why? Because it has a shit load of detail. I admit, I think the zebra turned out best of all, and I might have a new favorite animal out of it. But in honesty, the amount of detail needed almost throws off the entire collection. I'm not sure what do to. Do I go in and detail the shit out of the rest. Up until the zebra, I liked all, now I feel the rest might be lacking. Boo hoo to that! I might just end up having one card after all.... maybe. If anything, the bus. cards are not going to be the only part of the collection.... Do I hear rad tshirts? MmmmHmmm, yes ma'm I do. I see a whole multi area collection to come out of this.

On a completely different note, I have been attracting nothing but crazies, creepers and weirdos of the male kind. So not cool. For instance, last week after a lovely afternoon with GS, I decided to walk back along Burnside back to NJ's place. I typically avoid walking long distances on Burnside for obvious reasons. Anyways, while on the walk, close to the Crystal Ballroom, two dudes passed me. While they passed, one said "My friend says you don't need a dollar, you can just take him home". Not sure where the dollar part came from, but weird nonetheless. To top things off, Thursday night I had by far the creepiest of the creepiest thing happen. I was on my way home driving on SE Alder. I saw some dude walking and talking on his cell phone. A little weird as it was almost 1am. Anyways, when I stop at the stop sign on 6th, I look to the side and see that very dude running towards my car with a freakish grin on his face. I almost had a heart attack! Luckily, my first instinct was to put the petal to the metal. This dude kept running. Thank god I was in a vehicle that could 'out run' him. After turning onto SE Grand, I couldn't help but to continuously look in all mirrors to make sure he wasn't still running after me. BTW, I must add that my doors were unlocked, a rare occurrence. Needless to say I was more than a little shaken. I don't what that dudes intentions were, or why he even thought it was a good idea to freak me the hell out. All I know is that I will always make sure my doors are locked, and will probably not be driving by myself on SE Alder ever again. One can only imagine what could have happened if I had not looked up and over to see him racing for my car. Fuck, that could have turned into a very bad night.

Oh yes, and can I also add that I absolutely HATE migraines. No matter how mild or severe. I've had a mild one since yesterday morning. Thankfully today is much better and I was able to get some work done. I hate being laid up in the dark with no sounds around. Fucking blows. And the worst part is the only drug that works effectively and quickly is the UK's Nurophen plus Codeine. God they're glorious. I'm almost out though, and will need to ask friends to ship me a box or two.

Safari Series

The other day I came up with the idea that my new business cards should have a theme. Inspired by the luggage tags I made for NJ, I decided that I liked an animal theme. So, I have started my research for the soon to be 'Sufari Seriers' business cards. There will be a few versions, obviously, all in black and white. I also think that making little match box style holders for them, where you can rip them out one at a time, would be a handy thing, especially when people ask if they can have some of your bus. cards to hand out. This way they will be in a designed package that easily fits in your purse or pocket. I think the idea is brillant, and lets hope that the images in my head for the final project turns out even better.

Included are some images I found online to help get the ideas and shapes of the animals down. One interesting thing while google image researching is people seem to like to take photos of animals doing it. I find the amount a little disturbing and the fact that a good amount are on some kind of stock photo site. I also learned that there are other options to cage diving with sharks.... ALLIGATORS! Who thought either was a great idea? Could be fun though....

Stress Hit Me Like A Bus Flying Down The Road Not Paying Attention

I have gotten a comment made to me multiple times before stating that "I do not stress ever". When I reply, "ha! more than you know", people just tend to respond with, "ok ok I am wrong". Well, I had one of those days where stress hit me like a bus flying down the road not paying attention. It was uber lame. Internal crisis... oh lordy. When driving... god help me. Hahaha... But really, when you are not prepared to have a stress meltdown, it perpetuates the situation. Normally I just try to take life in strides and not worry about the small stuff. Money, essentially is a small thing that man created, and we put so much emphasis on its importance that sometimes we have misguided judgment about what life should be about. Yes, unfortunately, my stress today was caused by looking at my checking account and getting an estimate on what it would cost to ship a package to Santa Monica over night. I almost shit my pants, figuratively speaking. I am calmer now, but not complete. Money comes. It always does. Now I just have to wait. Even a small amount (a few hundred) would help take the stress away. I know, how pathetic am I? Where a few hundred bucks can make or break you. But, it is the world we live in. And heavens forbid I actually go out and try to find a jobby job sans designing.... the thought has crossed my mind. But it is just a thought. Hmmm.... What is a girl supposed to do to get a head in this world? Sleep with everyone and anyone? Maybe. You tell me....