I draw robots. Lots of robots. I've filled an entire sketch book full of them and I've started another. I made a book called Robot Book I. There will be a second. I love robots. This was my first robot sketch. Ever.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be content for more than a short while. I get bored easily. And when I'm bored, I start wanting to go some place else. For the last few weeks I've been this way. Constantly looking at plane tickets, wondering about what would happen if I did it. Hoping that everytime I get out of town for a few days that that will tie me over for a little while, but then realizing once back that my urge is stronger than I know and within a few short hours I'm thinking of leaving again. Yes, life has becomestagnant and I've not only pushed my body to it's limit, but also mentally and emotionally. Becoming so drained is hard to recuperate from. I've disconnected myself from a lot of people because I feel as if they don't understand or don't completely get me. Probably not the best idea, but that's just how I naturally cope.
And the fact is, being content for me does not necessarily equal a bad day. It's about being happy and inspired and passionate and continuously learning and pushing yourself to be better. The shit thing is, I've had someone in my life who could do just that. Where everytime we talked I learned something new or was introduced to someone or something. They made me want to be better, in all aspects. And one of my favorite things about them was that for some reason their inner self could calm my inner self by just being around them. That's amazing!! Brief periods where I could turn off my brain. That hasn't happened much in the last four months.
But, all good things must come to an end, and nothing last forever. Soon they'll be gone and I'll be left on my own to survive 12. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I know I must stay. On the other hand, it makes me want to go even more. It's made me realize that I need more people in my life that inspire me to do great things and encourage me to do so.
So, I was thinking, maybe my solution to finding inspiration elsewhere from my daily life (which truth be told has been lacking) is to continue making the right connections, work hard, learn as much as I can, stay in touch with people that mean something to me, escaping the city and work as much as possible and putting out the energy of sunny days and airplanes.
Or maybe I need a winter misery trip to make me appreciate my life more. Either way, things have already started to appear for my next manifestation list. It's time to get crackin' on future goals.
W+K12 has kept me busy. In October I only had 4 days officially off (including weekends). The last 2 weeks of the month I worked 177 hours. Yep, that's a month's equivalent in half the time. But it was all worth it, maybe. It's advertising, and you do what you have to do, even if that includes working yourself to it's maximum limits.
There's something very strange thinking you worked a 90 hour week, ending it by working till 7am on a Monday morning. To top things off, life has been complicated. There's no need to go into details, but sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and often it's something you've never had to face before. Strangely, I feel hopeful. Am I being a dumb girl? Maybe. Do I care? Not really. I've learned that when you work yourself to the max, you have to hold onto the things that make you the happiest, no matter what. It comes down to talking and convincing and figuring out if everything and that lifestyle, for a while, will be worth it. Currently, I'm leaning to it being so. Maybe later on, not so much. But I can only talk for the present, and that is that!!
In the midst of working copious amounts, I was still able to celebrate Halloween. O.k., only because WK had a massive Halloween party. But we still had the opportunity to dress up and have a little fun. The family even came to do some trick 'or' treating and hang out with me. Believe it or not, there was a massive live cobra. The dude thought it would be cool to randomly take it off the table and put in on the ground by my 7 year old cousin and I. We thought differently.
Transforming into a cracked porcelain doll in the bathroom with Rachel and Beth. Photo courtesy of Andrea. W+K Halloween photo booth with my 2 favorite ladies: Jess and Beth. W+K Halloween photo booth with Rachel and Riswold's mom. Beth, Manu, Jess and I. Yep, we're pretty awesome. Anyways, tomorrow a good girlfriend from London is coming to visit me for a week. I'm stoked. I've been needing to get out of town and having her here will be awesome, especially since I'm actually taking some time off work (Thursday afternoon and Friday) so we can go to Seattle to see her family and celebrate me turning another year older. Yep, I've definitely been itching to get away, so hopefully this trip will fight the urge to hop on a plane and flee. Think good thoughts of me going to LA for Christmas and New Years. I need some sun and warmth and good company.
On est bien peu de chose Et mon amie la rose Me l'a dit ce matin A l'aurore je suis née Baptisée de rosée Je me suis épanouie Heureuse et amoureuse Aux rayons du soleil Me suis fermée la nuit Me suis réveillée vieille
Pourtant j'étais très belle Oui j'étais la plus belle Des fleurs de ton jardin
On est bien peu de chose Et mon amie la rose Me l'a dit ce matin Vois le dieu qui m'a faite Me fait courber la tête Et je sens que je tombe Et je sens que je tombe Mon cœur est presque nu J'ai le pied dans la tombe Déjà je ne suis plus
Tu m'admirais hier Et je serai poussière Pour toujours demain.
On est bien peu de chose Et mon amie la rose Est morte ce matin La lune cette nuit A veillé mon amie Moi en rêve j'ai vu Eblouissante et nue Son âme qui dansait Bien au-delà des nues Et qui me souriait
Crois celui qui peut croire Moi, j'ai besoin d'espoir Sinon je ne suis rien
Ou bien si peu de chose C'est mon amie la rose Qui l'a dit hier matin
Chorus 1 We are truly insignificant And that's what my friend the rose Told me this morning
Verse 1: I was born at dawn Baptised in dew I blossomed In the rays of the sun Happy and in love I closed my petals at night And when I awoke I was old. Yet I had been beautiful Yes, I was the most beautiful Of all the flowers in your garden
Chorus 1
Verse 2 See, the God that made me Now makes me bow my head And I feel I'm falling And I feel I'm falling My heart is almost bare I have a foot in my grave Already I am nothing You admired me only yesterday And I shall be dust Forever, tomorrow
Chorus 2: We are truly insignificant And my friend the rose Died this morning
Verse 3 Last night the moon Kept vigil over my friend And in a dream I saw Her soul, dancing Dazzling and naked, Above the heavens, Smiling on me. Let those who can, believe But I need Hope Or else I am nothing
So I've been shit about updating this thing since 12 started. Life's been busy. Wordstock, 12's first major client/project is out in the public and you can read/see all about it on the 12 blog.
Anyways, I'll give details at a later date. To tie you over, here's a post I worked on with the lovely Jess that we posted on 12's blog today. Enjoy!
A little while back we decided to make ourselves some debatably legitimate student IDs. They're still not finished because Wordstock typically prevents us from doing anything that isn't red or helvetica or a giant sandwich. Thor and Mike did find the time to snap some photos of us while we were getting blown in the face by what is apparently called an "air bazooka."
Manu Carson Beth Jess Mike Rachel Zech Michelle Beatrice Andrea Casey Jamie Thor Jim Joe Byron Jinnina