Hahaha.... Yeah, I totally beefed it. Hurt like hell, but I laughed my ass off right after. Then again I did fall in sight of four cute dudes on bikes, one who later fell and slide off his bike after speeding down a flight of stairs (he was able to get up and take a bow. I am pretty sure he hurt the next day). Needless to say, at the time, it did not hurt that long or bad. Now, my right shoulder hurts like hell. More muscles than anything else. Lifting my arm is no good, as well as picking up and holding things. I can still do it, but it must be a slow and thoughtful process.
The first snow of the season, what the news refers to as an 'Arctic Blast' is supposed to continue on tomorrow with ice and a few more inches of snow. I like the snow, and I like that I am in good company at my friends place in NW. I do not like the ice though, obviously. My car is parked not on a main street, and I have yet to try and move it. I have errands to run - obtaining some nice paper for a few projects and fabric for a skirt I want to make. Depending on the weather, we will see if I can make it to either.
After years of wanting and trying to successfully break into freelance design in PDX, I have finally done it! O.k., so maybe I have not tried as hard as I should have. And maybe I was a tad bit scared of succeeding. And maybe I did not push myself as much as I wanted and needed to. But no more! Nope. Never again, because it is not such a scary place after all. In fact, it is fun, and thrilling, and productive, and just plain awesomeness all around. So yes, I am declaring it so: "The foot has officially entered the door" and man does it feel good.
On the ever elusive search for a creative job, one always stumbles upon Weiden + Kennedy. To some, it is the creme de la creme of advertising design. A place, which if ever you could break into, would foster the greatest ability and mind, set you on your way for life and allow you to have a little fun while doing it. I thrive for an environment such as that. I dream of the day when I not only get to walk into one of their many offices world wide, but get to walk in as a payed designer working on some of the raddest campaigns known to man. Yes, I have decided that a job at Weiden + Kennedy is what I am after. And when I want something, I get it. This is no exception. Give me a few months, and I will be there!!!
The video below was something I recently found on the New York's office blog. It raises an interesting question that I think most of us do not even think about throughout are mundane and repetitive days, "What do you wish would happen by the end of the day?" Towards the end, a dude poses the idea of thinking that in the morning for what you would like to happen. Wishing is irrelevant. Doing is everything. I think I might take that to heart! Enjoy.
After being sick this last week, with a wicked sore throat and no energy, I have found myself in a rut. 25, broke, job seeking designer living in, well, I do not even want to go there, stressed, frustrated, and confused about the path I need and want to be taking. For those that know, I have heavily been considering moving out of state. Where to you might ask? Well, at this point, wherever my career will foster most. Granted, that could still be in PDX, or it could be in Seattle, SF, Denver, or even NYC. Yes, after moving to London and having a handful of people before, during and after my stay there continuously say I should move to NYC, I have reasoned within myself that maybe, just maybe they know something that I do not. But funds have been drained, extensively, and without even some work (hopefully not shit nor boring) I cannot go anywhere. Heck! I cannot even get myself to go to a fabric store so I can make some pretty clothes (a new outlet I am looking into).
When I think about it, or rather, when I talk to good friends, a lot them seem to be on some good high right now. I have leeched on a little, trying to get out of my rut, which has helped, a little. I guess what I really want is to be one of them right now. Happy. Content. Productive. Successful. But with my extreme indecisiveness as of late, it has been hard to figure out just what will do that trick for me. I feel it burning, that desire and determination, but I also feel it still wanting to hide, scared of what it will find if it 100% throws itself out into the world. A power house? Most likely. Am I truly ready for something like that? Um, I think so. Or at least ready to start the career of an uber successful power house. I know have it me, it is just finding the right people to help push it out and foster its ability.
One of my good friends, who had the privilege of visiting me while in London made a good point the other day - Crossing trans Atlantic style has the effect of putting you in a funk for what you want and where you want to be. How? Why? I still do not know. But that 8 hour time difference, 15+ hours of travel, definitely does something to your inner psyche, draining it in some strange way.
Even though I have been a bit of a debbie downer, I still have hope. Hence the title - "The Times They Are A Changin'". I have one last thing to check off of my list of Manifestations for 2008, and that is a 'rad design job that makes me happy'. To give up now would be treacherous. After all, I was able to cross off some things that I thought would be impossible to obtain due to the 'economical crisis'. In fact, I had given up all hope. But sometimes the Universe likes to be hypocritical of things you want and gives you them when you have decided that you really did not want them in the first place. A test you might say of how much you really want something. Basically, if I have learned anything, it is that I need to keep my eye on the prize and stay focused. No more of the wishy washiness. It not only confuses myself, but the Universe. And that is no good. No good at all.
Silly as it may be, I have found myself missing someone who isn't even gone. It's not like we are the best of best friends or hang out all the time, but for one reason or another we have always stayed in touch no matter where we are in the world. Technically there is no real reason to miss them. We'll still talk, as I am sure of it, maybe see each other again. In the meantime I can't help pondering why of all people I miss them so much. Really, in my attempt to keep things casual have I fallen even harder??? Has playing it cool resulted in a deeper attraction? Another day another time? Maybe. Bummer that are paths never seem to align for more than a few sweet moments at this present time. You're a rad dude. I had fun. Just wish I could have brought myself to say I'll miss you to your face. Then again, maybe that's just too sappy even for me.
Godspeed on your journey east. I'll see you in NY! End of February? Possibly....
Of all places not to beep at, is Heathrow airport in London. Of course, on my departure home, that is exactly what happened. The results: getting the most thorough pat down ever, where no part of the body was skipped (sans the bits that could bring about lawsuits). Low and behold I discovered a bobby pin in my pants pocket after putting my shoes back on.
The journey home was long and tiresome. It began Tuesday morning around 6:45 a.m. when my alarm went off. Tuesday was spent at Goldsmiths - University of London. I was checking out the MA in Critical Practice course. The journey in the morning to Goldsmiths was ridiculously long. I left Korri's flat at around 8:40ish a.m. to catch the tube - Victoria line at Seven Sisters to Kings Cross to switch onto the Northern line, got off at Bank to catch a bus to the first open stop on the DLR (the DLR was down starting at Bank). By the time I got to Goldsmith's it was 11am. All in all it was an awesome day. A real university. Who would have thought! I got to hear a lecture, participate in an activity and see the first critic of the first project. It was nice. And I've been told that that program has a 100% employment rate within six months of graduating. Plus they get to work with major companies along the course of the program: last year Kodak, this year possibly t-mobile and the London Olympics. Seriously? Super rad!!!
After Goldsmiths I had some time to kill so I went to the grocery store, got dinner for the night and an assortment of sweets to bring home - staring at the candy section pondering what to get when never having tried any of them before proved quite difficult. I resorted to asking people who stopped next to me what they recommended.
Once back at Korri's and eating dinner I packed and re-packed. I have become quite the pro if I do say so myself. Considering that most of my stuff was already packed, it took no time at all. Once done I watched Juno with Korri and her flatmate Michelle. By the time the movie was over it was late, very late, so I decided that staying up all night would be better than trying to nap for 3-4 hours.
Around 3ish a.m. I popped into the shower and started to prepare for my long journey home. Thank goodness for Korri willing to be an awesome friend and get up before 5 a.m. to help me haul all my crap to the tube and then switching onto the Piccadilly line; props to the tube for opening at 5:20 a.m. Traveling internationally they require you to check in 3 hours before your flight. That meant that I needed to be at Heathrow by 7:30 a.m. Since it was so early the tube was speedy and running well. I got to Heathrow at 7 a.m. Some dud offered to help carry my stuff, even though he had less than an hour before his flight - I told him thanks, but that I could do it on my own. Check in was not too bad. My massive suite case was only 5lbs. over the maximum limit of paying extra, and luckily I had enough room in my other checked bag to pack in that amount.
The wait till the flight was not too bad at all, I snacked and hydrated. No window seat, but I did get an isle seat in the middle with 4 seats empty next to me where I napped like no other. 11 hours and 8 minutes later I landed in San Fransisco where I had a 3 1/2 hour layover to get through customs, security and catch my flight. 2 hours later I landed in Portland where I was greeted by the wonderful Natali. She informed me that we had just enough time to get back to her place, I could have a quick shower, and then off to dinner with the ladies at Piazza Italia, our favorite restaurant located in the Pearl. It was lovely and good and a wonderful welcome home, even though I was exhausted beyond belief.
Today, my first full day back in the states, west coast styling once again, I am tired, sluggish, broke and not sure what to do with myself. I have no phone, I do not know who has my car keys or where my car is even located (It never sold, thanks Dad). But I am optimistic. My 25th year, which commences on the fifteenth of November will bring good things, I am sure of it. It is time to kick off the freelance designer lifestyle, look into bigger and better grad schools abroad and prepare for round 2 and just enjoy life with good people. This year will be a good year!
Now, I will leave you with a small writing I did on my last full day in London while walking to the DLR after my day at Goldsmiths pertaining to my thoughts about my current predicament:
'Now I could spend time banging my hand against my head thinking 'dumb me', but that would be irrelevant and most likely cause a headache. A more productive use of time would be to analyze why and how things came about and except the fact that the universe always puts you where you need to be'.
Happily, I can say I am now successfully designing again. Two books down, more to come...
Ticket bought! Homeward bound I go on November 12. Slowly I have adjusted to the thought, no matter how bitter sweet it is. At least Obama has won and there is something other than my life getting sorted out to think about. YAY! Now it is time to prepare to re-group, plan and prepare for round 2. This should be interesting. I have also been designing lately. I completed a tiny picturesque coffee table book yesterday promptly named 'October London' and I am putting the final touches on another book I started a while back called 'Soul Searching, Preparing for Success, Backpacking European Adventure'. It is time to really crank shit out and do work in my chosen field. I AM READY!
In other news Michael chucked me out a few days ago and my good girlfriend Korri has kindly taken me in. Thank you lady!!!
Its been a nice run and now I must say adieu. Yes, that's right, after much consideration I have decided that Sotheby's Institute of Art is no longer the place for me nor what I am looking for artistically at this time. So now what? Well, after contacting the Home Office, I was informed that my student visa is no longer valid. That leaves me no choice but to return to the states where I will re-group, re-discover, and design consistently and constantly.
There are no hard feelings. I am not giving up. I tried something that I thought I needed, and within that process I realized that what I truly needed was something else entirely. Ah, the universe works in funny ways to get you where you need to be. So in a matter of a few short weeks I will once again be state side. Yes, it will be bitter sweet, but I am ready to come home for an extended stay to see what happens next.
Like an inscription on a 6th century AD spoon read at the British Museum: "Know yourself, and urge yourself ceaselessly." Thanks Greg for that helpful reminder!
Photo montage of my trip up north to Glasgow, Scotland. 16-21 October 2008.
On the way up I took a train up the eastern side of the UK. I got to see the sea which turned me into a little school girl. If only there had been time to stop. The coastal shots are from when the trained passed through Edinburgh, Scotland.
My first night in Glasgow John and I walked into a beer festival. Yes, I took the massive glass home as a souvenir. No I did not drink the entire glass. At best I drank about 1/6 of it.
Friday I ventured around town on my own for a bit. Went to the Modern Art Gallery, saw some cool architecture and heard some good music.
Moodiesburn - suburb of Glasgow. 15 minute bus ride into Central Glasgow.
Saturday night heard a local band, Nacional play. Good group of guys who show quite a bit of talent. If only the venue had better acoustics.
Monday did most of my venturing around town where the day consisted of seeing a sight, then figuring out how to get to it without a map. I was successful on all attempts.
I got some bad news on my way into the heart of the city and saw a dead hedge hog on the side of the road. It was how I felt - empty.
Glasgow School of Art - Designed by Charles Rennie Macintosh. Scottish Art Nouveau.
The Lighthouse. Also Designed by Macintosh.
How cool is this guy, 'Croc'? He got his own footprint.
The Willow Tea Room. Macintosh designed this as well.
Caledonian University. Check out the wicked cool study area.
Tuesday - time to go.
The Scottish landscape reminded me of Oregon. Green and beautiful!
