O.k., so I'm not a complete looser and didn't stay in and do homework on a Friday night because I didn't have anything better to do. It was nice. Actually felt my blue ball of happiness coming back! That's a change let me tell you. It's been pretty dismal the last week or so. Well, realistically non-existent. I just wish it had stuck around a little longer. I always find it amazing how one small thing can just bring you down and how hard it can be to get back to where you were. Don't get me wrong, I realize we are the controllers of our emotions, but god, sometimes that is easier said then done. *Sigh*
I'll try my best to be positive in this post, because it was a good night. I got to talk to Tina for almost an hour and a half. It was what I needed. Not just to have someone listen and understand me, but to be able to know I'm not completely alone even though I've been feeling like that. Once I was off the phone Michael invited me to go to a movie. Neither of us had seen the Dark Knight, so that's what we saw. Heath Ledger definitely lived up to all the hype and Christian Bale was nice to look at. Oh, on the walk from the flat to the tube we got absolutely drenched! I haven't seen rain coming down like that in a very long time. It was actually quite funny and kind of made me want to take off my coat and get drenched and spin around with happiness. Maybe I should have. It would have been a washing of all the negative in my life I've been experiencing. But then again, if I had done that then we would have missed the movie and getting out and about was the purpose of the night. Anyways, afterwards we went out to one of the only places open in Camden Town after 11pm - a Lebanese restaurant. The food was really good, although I have not had much of an appetite for the last week or so, so most had to be boxed up. I also had a Jack and Coke to toast to the good ol' times back home. Let's just say I finished that! Haha.
As for my state of being. Well, it's been better. Here's my debbie downer moment. I apologize, but I just have to get it off my chest. Loss of appetite is not just due to wicked jet lag and stress. I've only been like this once before and it was not cool at all (those close to me will know). Resorting to Marilyn Monroe movies (thank god I brought a few) and Natali Imbruglia music (which I highly recommend her album 'Torn') is never a good sign with how things are going for me. Things better take a turn for the better, and soon!
I miss dancing in the kitchen while dinner was being prepared! How do you tell someone that?
FYI: I got back rub #1 Wednesday night. #2 tomorrow?
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